Waking nightmares

Ever since Friday things have seemed unreal. Whenever I sleep, I feel like I never really wake up. like I'm trapped in this world of nightmares. I had a dream Friday night. All my exes were there. and I knew that they weren't who I was looking for. I was running and scared. I knew only half of me was there, and that half was hanging on poorly as it was. there was something I couldn't remember I was forgetting. Someone. But I didn't know who. I didn't know what. I knew something was missing. But I couldn't remember that I was forgetting.
I woke up. And struggled for a name. a face. I panicked. It was horrible. It took me the first half hour of being awake to name my other half. I felt a little better. Until I remembered he was hundreds of miles away and would not be returning until days later. Ever since, I've been wandering in this sort of nightmare scape. Somewhere between dreaming and awake. where nothing feels real and has any grounding sense of reality. It scares me. i can't wait until he gets back. I really can't. Because I don't think I'll be able to wake up until he is.

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