Ailing

It seems like I've been in a constant state of either illness or pain. I've been sick a couple days this past week, and I've had muscle pain for the past...oh... I don't know...at least three months.

The muscle pain, I know, comes from overworked areas. I pulled a couple muscles, and instead of letting them heal, I wait for the pain to be less-blinding, then get right back out there. I get so antsy, I just can't sit still and rest for more than a week at a time! After a week I start thinking obsessively about how my muscles are going to start to atrophe. So I think maybe I can just squeeze in a little fifteen minute workout here, or a brief half-mile run there, and it won't hurt anything. Well, guess what, bonehead: it does.

The proof in the proverbial pudding : This morning, I was running back up the stairs to our apartment to grab something I had forgotten, when I slipped and fell on the stairs. No biggie, right? I'm twenty-two with plenty of padding, I should be springy, right? Nope. I went down hard and something in my chest snapped. I heard and felt it. All the way to work I'm gasping for the breath. I even broke down and called the husband to see if I'm going to need to schedule a doctor's appointment. As soon as I started describing my issues, he told me (quite sternly) that I need to come home and we need to go to the hospital. He said it sounded like a collapsed lung; that I might've punctured it with the fall.
Now, stupid ole' me, I persevered and continued on to work, anyway, where my breathing has improved and I now just have the normal, constant, muscle pain of a strained muscle. So the doctor's visit is back off the table, thankfully. But that was a good enough scare to make me reconsider my previously fool-hardy approach at fitness. I know my body is as strong as I need it to be, and I know that my will-power is, too. These things are wonderful for survival or endurance situations. But I would like to enjoy exercising, again, instead of just being addicted to it.

So now I'm back to sitting smack-dab on square two. (Not quite square one, because at least I have a fitness level built up and I know what I'm doing, but I have to be slow at it. I count this not as bad as square one, but definitely not where I'd like to be.) I have to be slow and cautious, and sit out for a few weeks. Not sure what I'll do with myself...